Personal Questions

School counselor Jolie McCoy 605-394-1924

Jolie.McCoy@sdsmt.edu

(HOME) (GENERAL FAQ)

1) My roommate/friend/peer/someone I know has turned out to be a homosexual and I am heterosexual. I don't want to cause issues but it is freaking me out. What should I do?

2) I am a homosexual and I am having issues. Anything you know that might help me out?

3) My friend threatened suicide and I don't want there to be issues for them, what should I do?

4) I hate life!!!!

5) I believe that me or my partner has AIDS.

6) I am afraid to go to counseling, they only try to tell you that you are crazy.

7) My friend is drinking a lot of alcohol. Should I be worried? What if they pass out? Can I get them help?

3) Make sure that they are ok, stay with them until they are asleep or that you personally believe that they will be fine. Try to talk down the idea of suicide but DON'T say things that will make them feel stupid or worthless. That wont do any good except make them get worse. Remember, they aren't thinking clearly. Nothing is worth self death. I personally believe in that. I myself had episodes where I was your friend. The best thing you can do is get help Trust me. But only get the right kind of help. DON'T tell other friends. Leave that up to your friend on who they tell. If people ask, just say your friend had a rough time and broke down. Don't tell them more. SDSM&T is naturally stressful, they shouldn't need a better explanation. Once everything calms down. Call Jolie McCoy. It is her job to make sure that people are doing ok. Get a meeting set up between her and your friend. If your friend wants you present, that is fine. Just make sure your friend talks to Jolie. The reason you need to do this is because if your friend doesn't establish what is wrong then the next time may not be just a threat. If it becomes more than a threat. call 911 ASAP, if you hesitate, you may be attending a funeral. Life comes with hard choices. If your friend is seeing a counselor and is still having suicide issues, contact the nearest RA or Jolie McCoy and ask for more advice.

BACK TO TOP

4) I know the feeling. Don't do anything stupid. When I say stupid, I am talking about what society thinks of as stupid. Anyways, calm down. There are a few numbers you can call which will help. If it isn't late at night. Call one of your friends who isn't busy. If they are not available (usually the case) please call this number: 1-800-273-8255. They are always ready to listen. Also, there should be an RA on duty. Their job is to help you out. To be there for you. It isn't "just a job" not everyone can be RAs. An RA is selected through a strict process to find people who care about everyone. They just pay them on the side as a way to say thank you for being so caring. The bottom line is ANY RA will help, regardless if they are on duty or not but try the RA on duty first...their number is found here. If it is after midnight and you can't get a hold of an RA, the 1-800 number isn't working or you don't want to use it, and your friends are all asleep. PLEASE start knocking on the nearest RA's door, if they don't wake up. Try the next, or you can even knock on my door. Like I said before, RAs love people and will gladly wake up at 4am and help if they need to. All the RAs have pulled all nighters before so it wont be an issue for them. They always are there for a friend in need. No matter how much life sucks for you, just remember, you are NEVER alone. The RAs and I are here for you.

BACK TO TOP

5) First off, freaking out wont help. Trust me. First thing is first. Get tested. http://national.citysearch.com/profile/9272654/?brand=smx_ypnat-nc This will give you the address to the Department of Heath where all the test are free but they do accept donations if you can afford it. I believe it is $20. To walk there, travel the direction of traffic to St. Patrick. Cross to the opposite side of St. Patrick and then proceed down the sidewalk (DON'T cross St. Joseph). It will be on your left in a strip mall. The results will take two weeks and stressing wont help. The doctors should be able to give you any information you need about HIV/AIDS if you prove positive. The best thing to do is NOT look up information on the e-net until the results come back. They will do a questionnaire to see the likeliness that you maybe infected. I scored a 60% on this test but came out clean so don't let the score scare you. Once again, wait the two weeks. There is nothing else you can do. Use that two weeks to get to know your partner in a non-sexual way. Cross your fingers and hope for the best.

BACK TO TOP

6) I myself was afraid of counseling but the scary rumors are not true...I don't know about shrinks or therapist but counselors don't bite. Look at it this way. When you have an issue, don't you go to your friends for help and advice? Well when your friends give you advice, they base it off experience and things they have heard/read about. Counselors went to college doing nothing but studying the experiences of many different very personal issues that people commonly go through. They even know about issues that are not nearly as common. Since the counselors are school counselors, they have specialized in issues that commonly occur with SDSM&T students. So just think of them as that friend who knows their stuff. But remember, their information is based off experiences and things they have heard/read about just like your friends. Your friend's suggestions don't always work and neither do theirs so if their suggestions don't work just tell them, they wont be offended. Also, I have heard people say they don't care about the person just the money and they will just tell you what you want to hear. First off, I haven't ever heard them claim anyone was insane even if I thought they were. They also tell the "facts" of things. They have told me a lot of things I really didn't want to hear but that is their job. As for the money aspect.

According to http://www.jobbankusa.com/career_employment/counselors/salary_wages_pay.html  Counselors get paid on this scale bracket:

According to the same site, therapist make

So as we can see, the pay of human services is only 1/2 of that of some engineering jobs. We also know that South Dakota pays less than average for any job. So the pay isn't as great as people make it out to be but if they were going for the pay then why are they always busy? They get paid the same regardless of how many clients they have. The reason the keep a busy schedule is because they love to help people out. The last issues I hear people say is that they don't think the information they tell the counselor is confidential. Part of the job of a counselor is to keep their mouth shut about a client's issues. If they breach the confidentiality of a client then they lose their jobs but since the counselors still have a job means they know how to keep a secret. There is nothing wrong with getting help. In fact, I have openly told my friends when I attended counseling and they didn't think any less of me. In fact, some of my friends were happier for me for seeking help. When you have an issue that your friends just don't know enough about to help, that is when counseling is needed.

BACK TO TOP

7) I had this big response planned but then I ran across this site which does a good job explaining it. http://sdmines.sdsmt.edu/sdsmt/alcoholedu

BACK TO TOP

UPDATED: FEB 20, 2009